I can't believe I wasted a google wave invite on her.
Two hours into move in day and the ambulance is here already.
I don't care that you fucked her. I'm offended that once again, you fucked someone with me in the room because you assumed I was asleep.
I bought you a small gift as a preemptive apology for being a drunken slut tonight.
After giving a back rub to someone in the bathroom of the theater, he ripped an "employees must wash hands" sign off the wall to prove that he could and proceeded to hang it up in his house.
dude Steve you don't even know. its just been one hairy asshole after another.
I accidentally lit my hair on fire and we broke the bed. How was your night?
I feel like calling off tonight. Is a strong desire for masturbation a valid reason?
The plan is that you eat an edible first, then pressure your dad to do one. You know you are down.
all I know is this drummer better stop eye fucking me while he plays cowbell. it is way too early for that.
Oh no that was the time I did the walk of shame with no shoes
And I am bleeding like slutty girl #1 In a horror movie
He dated a girl who could do the damn splits on his dick like how do you compete with that
His parents then knew me as the blackout who took care of him and stole his watch
RESPOND QUICKLY THIS IS AN EMERGENCY!!! LITERALLY AN 11 INCH DICK!!!!! HELP.
Randomize
