talk about how much treatments for your hpv hurts
he told me it was a naked video of him so i opened it. i just got rickrolled while sexting
You know who really doesn't like surpise in-your-face air guitar solos? Strangers.
We uncovered another pile of vomit after you left. And i am not talking about the one in the vase
you spent the rest of the night making a recipe for mixed drink called "the new years bowel remover". it has 13 parts but judging from the bold all caps, the boiled avocado is the most important
I wouldn't have puked last night if I didn't inhale straight pepper from you shattering the pepper shaker on the wall.
Do me a favor. Next time I think it's a good idea to take pulls from the handle, yell "FALCON PUNCH" and uppercut me in the taint. My future liver thanks you.
Every time I there's a break up, I'm left with an animal. That's it. No more mutual pets.
I just listened to "Eye of the Tiger" and did 5 shots to prep going over to see him.
I sobered up in the middle of it, that I was hooking up with him in a rosemary bush. I woke up smelling like a pasta dish
I feel like I just want to take a shot of jack, have sex, and shoot myself in the face. In that order exactly.
Dude respond to my evite. You're either coming to the orgy or not.
he just left the suite without pants on wrapped in Christmas lights
11:30pm - Shots together. 12:15pm Shots together. 12:45pm Shots together. 9:30am Plan B's together.
is it bad that there is a girl in my bed right now and the only thing i can think about is the fect that its after 3am which means i cant order jimmyjohns unitll tomorrow?
Randomize
