Wow senior week shows you new things about yourself
Is this the I'm gay speech?
I've come to the conclusion that the only reason I fucked him was because he reminded me of Seth Rogen.
so how much must it suck for him to know that the penis of his best man has been in his wife's mouth before?
Dude in front of me just jumped out of line at Starbucks to go puke. Vegas in prime form.
Ummmm you know you're drinking vodka out of a Skittles bag, right?
Rule of thumb; if you ask me if my tits are fake you will not get to touch them.
I was talking about you wanting my dick, but that works too
So the bartender tried kicking me out but i screamed im an RA you cant kick me out
It'll be a romanticized airport meeting until I'm judged for sitting on his face in the terminal
That was the night, like, my hair caught on fire...
no it was not a "magical experience". After we dropped, he just sat there staring at my laptop going "apple makes beautiful things".
you left your anal beads in the dishwasher
He took some pill and now he's on all fours demanding we give him chips from the dog bowl. Come get him.
i feel like i shouldn't just had to send a text that said "no i will not eat your ass"
His junk had piercings everywhere. The dick and balls. It was a fucking pirate penis.
Randomize