i really wish facebook had an app for when you are looking at a chick's photo album, you could just skip to the ones where she and/or her friends are dressed like skanks
I woke up to a paper award certificate for best blow job and he was gone. You're welcome mystey man.
Just got walked in on during safety inspections
Think you passed?
Somehow I managed to make my Dunkin Donuts uniform look slutty. And I'm not even wearing hoops.
I full on slapped a girl with pizza. Like in the face with sauce splattered everywhere and grease with a hard slap to the face.
To the person who left a cup of vomit in the bathroom: I commend you for your aim but you are dead to me- not an ideal birthday present.
She has a lazy eye!
My other option is a hardwood floor
I just saw a fat chick ask the bartender to top her corona off with grenandine cuz she has a "sweet tooth" no that's diabetes fatty
Im having a christmas reunion party tonight. Last year i ate my own contact. We'll see how this year goes
I vote for a trading skills night. You teach me to juggle, I'll teach you knife fighting, and we'll both learn banjo
He has what he calls a "Ben Franklin". It's a pubic hairdo based on the man himself; long on the sides and bald in the middle.
sitting in the kitchen naked and eating stirfry, random dude left my room saying thanks and gave me a bottle of wine. explain...
I ate breakfast with him. And by ate breakfast I mean we fucked on the kitchen table.
He walked in wearing nothing but a WWF belt and yelled "THE CHAMP... IS... HEEERE!!!"
I just got fed by 3 guys. I love my job.
Randomize
