I think the best way to start out any day is to watch 80's music videos. It's like visual wheaties.
Nhdgh I love you very much hello becausevs. Vagina pensiono
I am the drunkest girl in the tree.
I convinced a girl to do a shot of salsa someone fell through the whole on the porch and Sara swallowed a beer tab
He just asked if I would make his black snake moan. Dating basketball players is not worth the glory
Lightning struck the tree right outside of her window as I came inside her. I think its God's way of saying go by plan b.
I just opened my filing cabinet at work for the first time in months. It looks just like my pantry: nothing but peanut butter and whiskey.
I ripped the door frame off last night too. Just remembered.
Yep. I'm going to buy a sex toy and a LARP prop on the same trip. Welcome to my life.
He said he looked out his window and I was sitting in the grass with blood everywhere talking to a dog.
You have better ratings than Crest. Only 4/5 dentists recommend it. You have 8/9 recommendation for your blowjob skills.
That's probably why white girls drink so much espresso. Piledriving coke and vodka crans takes a fucking toll man
whatever. i don't need to be drunk to tell you i'd suck your dick if you had one.
If I say I hate myself for it does it make it any better?
We were talking about kinky shit, and I suggested a hand job in church.
How'd that go over?
Praise the lord and pass the lotion.
Randomize
