is it odd that your cat looks tougher than you?
I just found out she jerks off to lesbian porn too honest to god
you wouldn't believe how perfect a match this is its scary
needless to say, I hope she has to get an abortion again
After waking up today, I would like to find the Jesus preachers on campus to ask for help in asking for forgiveness to God.
She passed out in his mom's bed and when we went to go get her she went 'no its cool I live here'.
A pack of naked men just sprinted down the street screaming in German. It's 5 AM.
I had to keep telling myself 'you can't be mad at him because you peed on him'
Just wanted you to know two things, 1st I sent the second thing to a broad ive been talking too. 2nd that was not just a fart.
i meant to type that i went to that party for shits and giggles, but my phone corrected me and said for shots and goggles...either one works
the day has come. I have finally reached the point in my life where I just don't give a fuck about anything anymore. it's beautiful!
Tinder date just called. I was supposed to be there 30 minutes ago but I'm on a 27 game win streak in Park...?
Fuck that man! Tell her your dog died or something. Reschedule that shit, you can't stop 2K at a time like that. Ball is life bro... Priorities.
He texted me "sup", so I sent him that gif of the surprised guy and apparently it offended him
How was that girls surprise party last night?
Got absolutely destroyed tried to put somebody's leather jacket on and make out with their mother. You know.. the norm
First day of school is awesome. I get to meet my students and figure out which of their mothers I’ I’m going to bang
Just got my second shot
Baller. We’re going to be knee deep in strippers and coke in 10 days
Randomize