Haha Tomato, Tomato. That doesn't work very well via text message.
so we have officially lost him as of 7 hours ago.. already called campus security, the drunk tank and the hospital. figure he'll turn up eventually..
i'll start checking the bushes on campus.
She's like a pop up book from hell.
idk whats worse playing power hour to yourself, or the fact that you were having fun while doing it
Fucking her would be like seeing big foot, finding a four leaf clover , petting a unicorn, and arm wrestling a leprechaun in a matter of a 6 hour period
That boy has a whole ocean of crazy lying just beneath the surface waiting to rise up, he's like the tar sands of crazy
Dedication to a hook up: I had to recruit five people at the train station to help me buy a ticket from a kiosk and get on the right train in 15 minutes because I discovered that my car was stolen.
We were escorted through the guys dorm by 5 kids with nerf guns and zelda shields. I felt like the president with a fucked up secret service squad.
I just had a great idea for an etsy shop. Sell all the shit bitches leave from one nighters
She invited me to Bikini Yoga with her friends. Sounds promising.
You looked at me, said I was a nice guy. Then you drunkenly climbed on top of me and said you liked me and wanted me.
I'm pretty sure my munchies are the only reason Good and Plenty is still around
DO NOT FUCK YOUR ENGAGED GAY NEIGHBOR!
Remember the random guy who licked my face when we were at the bar the other night?
Yeah. His name is Andrew. We just met
I just fucked her boyfriend. Happy birthday, bitch.
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