ohhh my god. this party should be titled "my hookups of summers past" be expecting some good stories tomorrow
That ginger could cleveland steamer me and it would still be the best day of my life
Just turned rock'em sock'em robots with my little cousin into a drinking game. Im drinking bourbon hes drinking hot chocolate.
The only good thing about trampolines when you're fucked up is the gushing blood really cleans all the bad coke out of your nose.
Everything was good until you pulled the bartenders hair because she cut you off
we hotboxed my bathroom. with nine people and two dogs.
She was shaking her boobs and I was so high all I could think was "breast maracas"
Just rolled up a joint with a cop standing right beside me. He just told us to not leave behind any garbage or empties. God I love canadian camping
I'm going back to his house to watch wreck it Ralp.
Hey, Monsters Inc. got me laid. Disney man, who knew it leads to sex.
What's more sad than going to Target to buy Plan B and the new Sam Smith album?
Something must have happened, they started yelling truffle butter and you said we needed to leave NOW
Good news. His dicks gotten wayy bigger since high school. I love Thanksgiving break.
nothing like waking up to a voice mail saying your std test came back negative
He and I tag each other in memes all day. You could say it's getting pretty serious.
I walked into your room and you were wearing party beads, a foam finger, and reading the dictionary. Good night?
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