Yeah, i think she was German or something.
No dude, she's just got a speech impediment.
we went through the mcdonalds drive through and you asked for a free sample of their fries to see how you liked them.
I answered the my mom's phone call about what we're doing for father's day while he was still fucking me. She thought I seemed really excited about his hiking boots present.
Who would have guessed that on my moms birthday she'd have sex with the door open. :(
I heard about the break up and if you need a place to stay my vagina is open for you 24/7
I'm really good at handling things like foreskin and speech impediments.
You told the cop at mobil to keep it real and look both ways before crossing the street.
Oh my Christ. I just came so hard my penis stood back up and took a bow afterwards. I need Thai food.
Sorry about giving you those ripped gym shorts after my dog ate your pants, but after the awkard BJ incident I didn't plan on hearing from you again
You'd be surprised how many calories hedonism burns.
Let's just say I've never been so continually aware of my nipples before.
You don't want any of I have. Seriously. Its 80 proof rum that was 8 bucks for a liter. I'm afraid
I'm sure your liver is writing out a will as we speak
She was hiding under the bed to surprise me with sex. But when you took your hookup in my room to bang things out, she thought I was cheating on her. So explain it to her douche.
The woman that sang I Touch Myself died today. There's only one appropriate way to honor her memory.
I'm on the job.
I really just gave up on masterbating because I'm too tired. I really am getting old.
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