why am i having a flashback about somewhere we were this weekend with music videos playing? Spike jonze brothers place?? Help me out
I didnt expect it either. But she was there and I had a boner, so i made it happen.
Drunk on an escalator. I fell like 15 flights of stairs without actually moving more than 5 feet.
It's official, my little sister has hooked up with more girls than I have.
he obviously didn't care that i was sleeping and dreaming about ellen degeneres knitting me a christmas sweater.
every time fb tells me a dude i fucked is now friends with another dude ive fucked, i die a little inside. thats way more honesty than im comfortable with.
I would be the drunk girl eating cake on the front steps alone.
I bet. I bought a surfboard and a kite and filled my camelback with vodka-tonics. Let's do this
I mass texted 4 of you for a booty call. Please reply all when responding so only one of you shows up. Last one is a rotten egg.
You know how hard it is to jerk off in a bathtub with a dog staring at you?
That point of drunk where you're in a bar bathroom and you're like "F*ck you bra! I'm not taking your sh*t anymore! and you take it off and throw it in a trashcan.
I may have to marry her. She is smarter than me and has a six figure job and doesn't want to have kids. All I have to be is a trophy husband.
Like you know your sex life is in a downward spiral when your best friend offers to sext you from Ireland
They're letting me in by good graces, I can't show up with a fist full of dildos
Why would you keep yourself in a sharting situation
Randomize