:( I'm sorry!!!
sexual favors sorry?
absolutely not
I'm at the point in my career when i know a sites a trap and isn't real porn
How do you tell if you're on the terrorist watch list?
In my 8 am class there was a pack of birth control on the board with a note saying, "Some dude somewhere is unhappy."
At McDonald's last night the guy gave you the wrong kind of McFlurry, so you screamed at him, "YOU MCFUCKED UP."
Its a good thing the lights were off cuz Im pretty sure the look on my face when I touched his penis would have offended him
WE COULD TOTALLY DO ECSTASY AND GO TO THAT CAT SHELTER OFF OF BROADWAY.
I broke down outside of an all boys correctional facility
well if that's not a gay porn waiting to happen, i dont know what is...
You force fed me pizza in bed last night. That was fun
I may have tried to encourage people to play a new game I invented last night. I called it Super Quarters. Like regular quarters, only using an AA medallion.
I don't know whether to laugh it off or be pissed at him..I got pulled over this morning leaving his place and the officer thought my hickeys were hand prints around my neck and asked if I needed to be escorted out of town.
I did all i could do but i woke up smelling like cigars and theres salsa all over my face
It's really hard to masturbate now that I live with girls who actually function before 11 am.
OMFG. JUST WALKED IN ON A DUDE JERKING IT IN THE MCDONALDS BATHROOM
Stall or urinal?
There are way too many people I have fucked in this class for this not to be awkward
Randomize
