since when did accompanying a guy to a wedding mean that anal was required that night?
about to get into a hot tub with three cops. this cant go well
I just put up a picture on my dorm room wall of that ginger you hooked up with to remind myself that everyone makes mistakes
I'm legit concerned I might pass out this weekend from having too much sex.
Umm... How do I tell my roommate someone shot a speargun through the wall? On a side note, cliff shot a speargun for the first time.
The bartender said he wanted to turn you gay, and we got free shots the rest of the night
I would seriously fuck her so hard, her contacts would pop out of her eyes.
Date idea: we should go to the store and buy all the different kinds of Lay's and eat them all
Are there any rules against fucking the hot TA?
Maybe for her....
Her problem, not mine
You were sitting in a chair and you said "I just feel like a little fishy, floooooating through the ocean, so pretty"
I'm going to need to invest in some knee pads if I keep having nights like tonight
I told her I'd rather set my hair on fire than sleep with her again. In retrospect, that was probably too harsh. My eye is still swollen shut.
At what point in a new hookup do you tell the guy you need to wear a mouth guard when you sleepover because of your TMJ? Asking for a friend.
Gave a guy a blowjob in a convent. Place in hell is now secured...
To potentially get me laid, I need you to send me your favorite memes.
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