my vagina has a 5:00 shadow
The Wii Fit is already telling me I'm an alcoholic.
shape ups are the best shoes to wear when youre stoned. its like walking on little trampolines every step.
Does she know that uploading nude photos to photobucket and networking are two different things? You may want to ask.
I just dont think you can meet a stranger after youve heard them cum through the walls though
It is too early in this hangover to be seeing some guys ass crack.
You were air-planing a joint into my mouth while I was crying naked in the bath tub.
Best Friends For Life.
I don't care how stoned you are, I'm not driving to a different state for a burrito
I was using my Beauty and the Beast blanket as a makeshift skirt because no pants
yeah well, its not like my astrogynecology class is teaching me what i need to know
im almost 90% sure there is no such thing as astrogynecology.
You were sitting in a chair and you said "I just feel like a little fishy, floooooating through the ocean, so pretty"
yeah she's crazy. she fought a possum in my alley because it was "being a cagey little cunt"
Oh like it's the first time I've had a bowl of wine
the bouncer just handed me a Starbucks bag of pound cake
I was legit late to work one day Bc it took me so long to get a good nude
Randomize
