i dont have any money that hasnt already been designated for cigarettes and birth control
Used tampon in my purse. That from you?
How am I a tease?
Dude you flashed me ur vagina and walked away.
ONLY PART OF IT.
Yes, you did come over last night. You also tried to give my dog a blowjob. You got rejected.
Vodka and Eggs at 9:30AM = thank you, America.
We're playing a drinking game to 'how to train your dragon'. has it really come to this?
He literally had a note from his doctor saying he wasn't allowed to finger me for a week
THERE ARE ENTIRELY TOO MANY HOT UNDERAGE GIRLS HERE FOR THIS TO REMAIN LEGAL.
Idk we were snorting lines and making out in the stall while these people were cheering us on, on the other side. And that's when I realized he wasn't the only guy in the girls bathroom.
How could I forget your birthday? I have an alarm in my phone to ask you for sex that day.
I did my walk of shame through a safeway at 8am to get YOUR hangover bagels. You're welcome asshole
If I get one more "oh yaaaaa he changed your oil" texts, I'm gonna lose my shit
7% of guys ive been with can get me off... I did the math!
it'll be like the notebook except for with way more of my penis
Hey! you should come over!
Who is this? The number is saved as "Sexy Awesome"
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