Public safety found my id!
And i can't find my bra so i'm assuming they found my bra with my id which would explain the disapproving tone the lady on the phone had.
my bf wants us to fuck our way into the new year.. how original..
but there are maragaritas for $3 so that was all i needed to hear
my dealer just handed me my weed in a pink easter egg
He's paying me $45 to clean his room and $55 if i find the oxy that he lost.
My sister was not impressed when she got here. I was standing in the doorway in my underwear drinking a beer. At 2pm. On a Monday.
playing nyquil roulette. it entails taking shots of nyquil and hoping it doesnt kick in during sex or in public. game on.
I realized last night, I never talk dirty in German during sex. How much wasted potential is that?
Dude she hit me with my own penis and it hurt. I've never been cock slapped but she slapped me with my own cock so it has to be worse.
I can't relate, I like my boobs roaming free like a wild animal, and I occasionally let them devour small children
They've taken all the lighthearted fun out of S&M.
I think I heard my penis growl. Wanna do lunch?
Dollars spent: $83, Girls kissed: 4, Girls slept with:2, Girls currently making me breakfast: 1, Fucks given: 0
Also, why does our bed smell like mayonnaise?
He's eating a sriracha ravioli sandwich. How do you think the night is going?
Randomize
