I just fired a shotgun out of the back of a truck going 60. i am going to miss oregon.
He is drunk texting me begging me not to tell my mom. Pretty sure he is about to offer me sexual favors for keeping my mouth shut. I love being the boss's daughter.
Your therapist is not going to think that you using your vagina as revenge is okay
Apparently 'she used to sleep with my brother' is not an acceptable answer to how do you know each other.
If I had a penis, I would stick it EVERYWHERE. I don't know what these guys are doing.
Don't try to dry clothes in the microwave. They'll catch on fire.
i don't think my dad can get all that mad since he got arrested for almost exactly the same thing last weekend
..She then engaged in what she called an "interpretive pole dance"
I think its safe to assume that the 40yr old undergraduate with purple and pink in her hair and a tattoo of the eiffel tower above her ass crack has never actually been to Paris...
She can drink whiskey without a chaser and has a fridge full of whipped cream. Girlfriend potential
How do you feel?
Like the devil himself shit me out, baked me into a pie, ate the pie, and shit me out again.
I still have your make up all over the inside of my thighs from the face sitting. Free tonight?
My boobs are literally freaking out because I've been wearing a bra for more than three hours....I need to go out more...
just got a call from a life insurance sellsperson and apparently our xany dealer referenced us. not cool thats breaking the 4th wall
Well. I had to explain to my niece that the word cunt is not an abbreviation for country. I'm the best aunt in the world.
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