he was on top of me and all of a sudden stopped and starting picking his nose...i asked him if he was okay, he sort of looked confused, and he told me he had a booger that hurt. guess its a good thing i wasnt planning on dating this guy
so i told him i have my period and he put his head by my vagina and said "I HATE YOU!"
why didn't you say something constructive like "stop chugging that vodka"?
She gave me a foot massage with her tongue. I think we're both scarred for life.
Slutapocalypse this thursday. Invite every freshieee you hooked up with this semester to my house. Think of it like a meet n greet for them and battle of the sluts for us.
Walking down the street trying to find the pants I had on last night
You're alright. You just passed out while we were having sex. Then I'm pretty sure you peed. So I went home.
so far I've only met her once and hung out one other time. Up to 5 BJs already. That's serious efficiency.
This chic sharing the cab with me just started givin me head. I'll be an extra 5 minutes.
I'm holding onto the sink for dear life. Pretty sure if Iet go I'll turn into a shit propelled man rocket.
i'm not saying you're gay. i'm just saying all my gay friends think you have a great ass.
You did a body shot out of her belly button with a bendy straw.
So she was on top of my phone and somehow called my roommate while I banged her. I picked up and he congratulated me. I was with his sister. I will take this to my grave.
Hammered...8am...why is there chickens in the living room?
Kinda thinking about going to my moms wedding high
Randomize