Nicole vs. Life
I hate thxgiving break now because that totally means I'm not able to have sex for a week.
i checked my sent messages this morning and i had apparently tried to text the bar, saying "idk what i drank, do you?"
We could make it a date. Dinner and a show. The show being my nipples getting pierced.
Hah, I lost the lenses in my glasses, didn't event notice til this morning... How was the meeting?
Hne relally is a cite oerfect gome. Nes awddddddddooooome.
I make your heart skip a beat like that pivotal moment when you open a public toilet lid
Meeting his dad and brother for the first time at the jail while I'm bailing him out ISN'T exactly how I pictured this relationship going....
My month off booze swimsuit season diet plan is working well. Plus I'm learning so much about my house, did you know a girl named Meagan lives here?
He said he was gonna go pull a lochte and the next thing we know he's outside ass naked peeing in the neighbors kiddie pool.
pretty sure I just got a "sorry I have a new boyfriend" blow job. Confused, but totally ok with it.
Also, there's the possibility of falling 5 feet to your death to make it more exciting
In which case I will yell FIVE SECOND RULE and continue to slam you
I think the only context in which I'd be comfortable being kidnapped is by a band of baby sloths
Im gonna go for the gay guy. The ginger is freaking me out.
it's like the easy bake oven version of plastic surgery
Randomize
