absolutely 100% incorrect. and i love you more you silk skinned goddess
Stephanie. Problem. I think if I had met Murphy before Ben I would have fucked him instead.
Don't worry about your Murphy feelings. I may have fucked him no matter what.
and before you know it i was laying next to him at 2 in the morning with penis and sadness on my breath.
Can we talk about the cons of throwing up in the bathtub. there are no pros.
Judging by what's in the bathroom right now, I see you graced us with your presence last night.
they found her hiding behind the couch trying to feed a cabbage patch doll a bottle of tequila. please tell me she's on birth control.
I almost puked on my graduation application. perfect.
So can we talk about how we all three made out with the bike taxi driver in lieu of paying him. I'm not even mad, that's resourceful. You know what married girls would have had to do? They'd have had to pay.
It would have been the trifecta of dick for her.
woke up to see a man wearing a sailor hat and covered in vomit sneaking out the door. Epic night indeed.
You were force feeding yourself jello and you kept repeating, "I will not surrender"
My boss followed me on Twitter. Excuse me while I delete 90% of my tweets
I just thought about how many drinks I had last night and threw up.
She tried deep frying a banana by placing one, unpeeled, into a toaster.
I'm covered in bite marks and have a cracked rib - was a good weekend
Randomize