he just said he was sorry he wasnt been able to come by more often coz things are really crazy with that girl
you mean his girlfriend
If facebook stalking was a job I would totally pown it
Just watched a porn with the dvd commentary on i think i need to re-evaluate my life
I'm gonna put my relationship status as "widowed" to see if it helps me get some poon.
Have you ever chased with pilaf before? Because dont.
i want to cheat with him just to show his girlfriend what a terrible person he is.
I woke up naked dangling by my feet from the balcony over his foyer. He's officially my new favorite booty call.
Just FYI, I'm breaking up with my boyfriend tonight and you need to be on call to be my first rebound bang
I threw up sweet potatoes. Worst thing to throw up ever. They came back mashed.
Wingman of the year award. I made out with her gay roommate in order for you to get laid. Better have been good.
The gay roommate was probably better than her. Consider yourself lucky.
If that orgasm indicates how the rest of the year is going to go, I need to buy rain boots.
Holy shit, we're married as fuck.
this is a PSA to never have sex in a bed from ikea
That's the 3rd guy I've made pass out from a bj. I may have super powers.
Hello! Time means nothing. Good morning! I have a vague idea of what day it is.
It is Muednethiday, March 34th, in the Year of Our Lord Joe Exotic 3099.
Randomize
