i have now learned nap means the same thing as sex in college
My teachers should feel privileged to see me this morning, after the amount of alcohol I consumed last night.
tan lines, throwing up everclear on the beach, doing lifeguards, tequila...summer.
We're too lazy to do dishes, so we're making sangria in a flower vase.
Sorry if I put you in that 'glad we're hanging out but I'm gonna go fuck your cousin' kind of position
Now have a vodka water and get your shit together
All I remember is him trying to go down on me, but I guess I was too busy making out with his brother
I just looked at the guy in the car next to me and he was wearing a divers mask. We just nodded cause we both understood.
My contribution to the dinner party was a bottle of vodka and a bag of uncooked potatoes. I felt like a Russian serf.
I am just pathetic enough to be sitting on the couch with my cat drinking absinthe and vodka watching moulin rouge. Hello, tuesday night.
When I don't want to forget things I put them on my cigs.
C smoking isn't all bad
Liquid roulette time! Black Mystery Cups are filled with either ipecac, whiskey, or NyQuil. Let's have fun
Tequila pump. I'm ecstatic your engineering degree has real world application.
That awkward moment when your boyfriend tries to have sex with his go pro on #hdporn
Well I either feel like the fat girl or very accomplished because his bed is now broken in three places
Randomize
