i was watching iron chef and got motivated, so i made dinosaur chicken nuggets
I'm in that akward stage between jailbait and cougar
you wouldnt answer to anything but devil's advocate all night.
my text book just quoted the cookie monster
You told me when we were leaving the club if I could pin point your nipple through your padded bra you would show me if I was right.
He went into the alley to piss and came back a minute later with a case of Bud Select. I'm speechless.
... I went down on him at the movies. I feel like Alanis Morisette.
So someone just pointed out to me that during dinner, I mentioned more women that I'm attracted to than men. The transition might be complete. I'm gay.
You drink it until you puke in a vent one time and it's ruined forever.
You had the nerve to crowd surf to your own bedroom.. I guess watching Aladdin high was probably the best idea ever
The great part about clubs is that you can fart everywhere and nobody knows! The bad part is I'm on e and i have nobody to fondle.
If I walk downstairs and Kelly is fucking in the laundry room again I'm gonna die
I asked for a cup of water. They gave me tequila. They WANT ME TO DIE
I'm about 40% drunk. You know, not drunk enough to light the bar on fire, but drunk enough to let the cougar hit on me.
So I lost my dignity between the strip club and your penis...
Randomize