ive never been so in love with another man before, in a totally none sexual way... no homo
So Delta doesn't take cash. I used my card to buy a drink and asked the attendant if she could leave it open.
I can't really talk right now. I'm getting on a plane to Oregon to go give a guy a bj. I'll see you in three days.
She's a squirter....that makes up for lots of other annoying things
well when mom kept referring to my "black hole of a vagina" and how i devoured all the nuts at the party like i was a pro, i figured my stay was up.
Just went through campus. In the span of 2 min I saw 4 places I've had sex. And thats just down one street. Man do I miss college.
I don't even want to go. i just want to be a hermit and live in a cave with an elephant that pisses vodka
I asked the full emergency room who else was there because of homecoming and every single person raised their hand
today i was walking through gramercy with a dress bag from David's Bridal and a bag of McDonald's. No guy would make eye contact with me as I scarfed down my fries. I think I was mankind's walking night terror.
You know I ate twenty hot dogs in an hour once.
I am honestly so surprised you are a lesbian.
Are you in a good mood because I stuffed you with enchiladas, ice cream, penis, and cuddles last night?
I'm fucking sick of guys. I think I'm going to date myself. No drama. And I know I'll always put out.
Underoos and an IDGAF attitude: all you need to successfully win at life
(Underoos optional)
Can't really tell your Mom you are moody due to dick deprivation.
Update: the condoms are expired and Canadians are NOT to be trusted!
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