The worst thing about having a parent with a prius is that they can walk in on you without any warning
I woke up naked by my window. blinds open. smiley face drawn on my window.
Grab the Coors Light. Its time to get NASCAR drunk
they're using the ping pong table for ping pong. it's weird
If I don't wake up hungover in a ditch Monday morning I will consider my halloween a failure
I finally looked at the pictures from last night thanks for feeding me and pulling my pants up
I take back all the times I've said life was unfair. I'm about to have two trained bartenders for a girlfriend and roommate
I just tried to text you by typing "whoa" into my contacts.
I can't believe he let me cut his hair as stoned as I was.. I think I even cut my own hair too
After she asked if she could try to fit her toe ring around it, i decided to leave. Thats the life i live
He challenged me to a drink off, I couldn't just say no. It was a matter of pride really.
And as he was cursing your name from the bathroom you were ordering yourself another drink on his tab. The poor bastard had no clue you were a pro drunk
My favorite part was screaming to all my life by kc and jojo and just horribly failing
Sorry about the weird guinea pigs text. I was drunk and they were freaking me out
We're about to play the try not to vom at the president's house game...
My body is telling me there was tequila. My pictures say it was Jeff's fault
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