nothing tight i'm going to stuff myself with food and alchy
I just heard a girl say "We can't go that way, it is a one way street." She was on foot...Nothing worse than girl from the midwest that move to NY to "live out their dream" -the dream of living in a rat and roach infested 200sqft for $2k a month, and get fucked by some recent Ithaca college frat grad...
today is monday, i feel like we should do something illegal
i just put all of my beerlympics medals into my academic awards box. i would say they are my greatest achievement since college.
There's an official council for his ex boyfriends. They told me they 'look forward to the day I join them'.
I am one Jewel song away from suicide watch
Bailey. He has a soul patch. Idgaf if he was an NFL player. Nobody with a soul patch is attractive.
She really is something else.
Words cannot describe what though. The best way to describe her is to say it like watching a bear and a whale have sex. You don't know why it's happening or how. But it's rather funny and you can't look away.
You're the common denominator of my blackouts.
My exam ends at 4pm so I plan to be passed out in the bar by 5pm. Want to join me?
I don't want to jinx anything but I may have found the one.
Cat or human?
Human
My cat just tried to lay on my stomach while I was masturbating. And I let her because I am so starved for affection.
It's become almost a Pavlovian response. The sound of the vacuum being run by hubby causes an instantaneous involuntary orgasm.
I remember that. We went to taco bell looking for pizza.
Can’t. Tonight’s a netflix and dick night
Randomize
