Her parents hate her and she's on like major lockdown. All her friends are in jail and she has massive pit stains. Dude... It doesn't get much worse than that.
Should I tell Kevin that my finger was in his sister's ass last night?
I'm dreading the fact that when the dominoes guy comes, he will ask me if i placed an order under the name "high as shit".
note to self... there IS such a thing as having too many birthday shots...
On the couch having a debate with the dog over whether eating anothr sweet roll will make the hangover better or worse
i was super drunk. to the point where i was putting shredded cheese on a fork, putting hot sauce on it then dipping it in salsa. it was awesome.
thanks for carrying me to bed.. and sorry for trying to roll down the hallway to escape.
I have hit nutritional rock bottom I am spreading peanut butter on to lays potato chips
Letting two friends screw at my place in exchange for weed. This is my life.
In the middle of me riding him, he stopped me and said "You're the kind of person who would be restrained for being obnoxiously drunk on an airplane, huh?"
There's nothing quite like having a little 8 year old boy hand me a Bible on campus while I'm on my way to the health center because of my recent slutty tendencies.
My tongue is raw from licking all that salt with my tequila shots...happy cinco de mayo
Is it weird that I'm mad at my boss because he isn't paying me enough attention? Maybe my dad issues are worse than I thought
Omg my brain. Most recent thought: I fucking prayed in the bathroom that the other girl would leave. Prayed to Jesus
only 4 hours until nug lovin time
excuse me?
nug lovin. lovin nugs.
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