Why does Jon Cryer have a career?
That is a good question.
Also how the fuck did i get like 30 brown napkins
Omg i either met the gayest dude ever or my next boyfriend
on a side note you can NOT make bong water out of a pear
the owner gave me a free bottle of vodka and a 12pack of red bull if i agreed to leave. my drunken antics are finally paying off.
Either I got the clap, or I masturbated with soap while I was sleeping.
In their defense you were hugging a watermelon for a good portion of the trip
You kept me hostage in your driveway until you got your point across that alaska has warm weather
Dad, is it in any way illegal for me to run around throwing handfuls of lucky charms at people tomorrow?
you're kidding right?
Member that time when we got super drunk and had fun and fell in love
I remember it like it was tomorrow.
Please tell me there is not a bookmark on your browser with the title "Christmas Porn"
I feel like these arent even my fingers anymore
It's no longer hooking up, we have definitely graduated to Sport Fucking....
he'll always be the guy that i fucked on the bathroom floor
He fell asleep during FOREPLAY. Sober!!!
Im outta here as soon as my phone charges wtf
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