everytime he calls himself the maxipad master i can't help but wonder what costume that would involve.
No. Especially when my uncle started stripping. Too many shots. So that's where I get that from.
getting kicked in the face by someone doing a keg stand. just my luck
Use motel 8. I'll give you my credit card #. i'll pay for it cuz i care about your vagina.
We told you to stay put for 2 minutes. We come back out and your being handcuffed yelling "DO YOU FEEL LIKE A GOOD FUCKING PERSON ARRESTING ME ON MY BIRTHDAY?!"
He had seven beers and tap-danced on the table like a pro. HOW DOES HE DO IT
Hardcore start to spring break. Mike is wearing adult diapers because the only stop we are making is for gas.
I don't think she can come out, she went too hard in the Intro to Theater Drinking Game at 2:30
The roommate asked me to make sure no one fucked in his room. And then preceded to give only me permission to fuck in his room. Had no idea who I was, just thought I was trustworthy cause I had Edward 40 hands. Felt like a Tarantino movie.
I made everything so magnificently awkward in under 15 seconds. I am magic.
So, I'm a little drunk in Seattle with Glenna, but we've all agreed that it's patriotic to think about Bill Clinton from time to time during sex. 'Merica
Like, I don't need to know your life dude. I just need you to suck my tits.
Casey, if you want the continuing love of our mother, you're gonna need to stop drunk texting her from PCB.
We were peeing side by side on the riverbank together and I felt like nothing brings you closer than drunken riverbank urinating so I caught her a friendship frog to wipe with since we left the tp in the canoe.
It was all like "my feathers evolved from scales of a reptile bitches!!" and I was all like "damn this chocolate milk is AWW SOOME!"
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