I wanna go to beed woth a nboy
We just picked up about 540 lbs of women....
my boobs just fell out on the dance floor. my wedding is totally beating your wedding
Remember when we did the egg drop from the Dyson building? Her vag is like that, except with a ham, and the ham doesn't make it. I'll be back to the apartment in ten.
My favorite part about you getting arrested is having to explain the prosthetic leg in the front seat.
Even his old football coach jokes about how big it is. I don't want to be alone in a room with him and that monster.
just chugged some gatorade and threw it up. todays gonna be awesome
I'll always be here to give you immoral support.
when the officer asked him if he had been drinking, he just goes, "yeah, you?" then falls onto the table.
You decided it was too difficult to walk down the stairs so you just rolled across his kitchen floor laughing like a maniac and trying to drink at the same time
I think once you know a guy's chest measurements the stalking has gone too far..
He should know he can't successfully wrestle in pudding fully clothed. Amateur.
I'll get tired halfway through and end up passed out at a taco shack honestly
Meh, all I have to do tomorrow is proctor an AP test. No loud noises and no physical activity allowed for almost 4 hours. Sounds like the perfect recovery period for a hangover.
Were not even through the second month of the year and I potentially may have torpedoed a marriage...
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