we are at a mexican restaurant and the tv is playing mexican porn. dad won't stop watching.
I haven't worn deodorant in like three days and have been laying around in my underwear listening to music and drinking. I think i've made my own Bonnaroo in my apartment.
i wish they had a 'baby daddy' section in halmark, like, "hey, i know you didn't want this child and you're doing a horrible job, but here's to making you cry on fathers day"
Can I have the boy from 16 and pregnant's next baby???
There's a fat drunk walrus bitch here next to me and shes already puked and now falling on herself
OH FUCK NOW HER BOYFRIEND IS MAKING OUT WITH HER VOMIT HOLE
Sounds like a good blink 182 concert...
I decided that not getting a job after college is gods way of telling me I will make a great housewife
lets be honest. she's not NEARLY as much fun to fb creep since she got out of rehab...
Shots and making dong molds for my gf's friends. Typical Monday night activities.
I needed to do something spontaneous, and since no one had coke this was the next best thing.
He offered to teach me how hula hoop in exchange for acid. I took him up on it.
Dude I should have just gone home with the guy with dreads and the cat
Note to self: Calvin Klein's are not safe to shit in.
I seriously just forgot to push down the toaster twice in a row \n\nSo I've been waiting 8 minutes for toaster strudels that I haven't even started... Too high
Sorry for prompting a philosophical penis discussion at 10:45 on a Friday night.
He's UNCIRCUMCISED. And it curves. Two things I've never encountered in all my sluttiness and they're both on the hottest guy alive. :(
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