I am so gay it hurts my loins. Going to see She's Just Not That Into You... again. Ohhh my goodness.
1. Mark my dj buddy and I spent $1000 on bottles last night
2. We were casually offered narcotics while walking down the street
3. I will still be awake when you start school tmw, cause there's no last call
So if any tells you miami is the same as the rest of america, there are just lying to you
You threw up in a Dixie cup last night. Oddly, you just gained major points in my book for that.
he couldn't find his key, so we just had sex on his parent's porch while we waited for his mom to get home.
Finally washing the shoe scuff marks off my front windshield :( bye bye memories
Apparently drunk me thought it was time for a career change. I woke up with a message from Mcdonalds saying that I was hired as the new cashier.
Idk I've been drinking all day and they're having me blow shit up. Like dont let the drunk chick play with fire and explosives. Common sense 101. I will fuck something up
You know how I said I hit my head so hard I saw two of him and tried to make out with both? Well, it turns out he has a twin.
YOU JUST GOT OUT OF THE HOSPITAL AND YOU'RE ALREADY DRINKING?!
I'm drinking on a Thursday because I can
Today is Wednesday you jobless drunk
Hey! you should come over!
Who is this? The number is saved as "Sexy Awesome"
I guess I can check "drink alone in the dark" off my bucket list
the funny thing was, all i remember was a liter of vodka and going to oneonta for the night. then 2 weeks later bam, i get a letter banning me from campus for the next 4 years. awesome convorsation with my dad to wake up to.
Just convinced the cute guy from class that I have prostate cancer. GET ME OUT OF THIS TOWN!
dude I fucking saw you snort tequila
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