K I think ***** turned off her phone. Guess I can't make her feel any more miserable tonight so I'm goin to sleep
As heartfelt as your proposal was- I will NOT marry for money- especially to someone who still owes me $700. You r officially pathetic!!
she just asked me to help her create a twitter page for edward cullen's hair.... seriously.
all of his pictures were taken on a library computer, how did you even consider fucking him?
as he left, i held up my fist and said "pound it out" and he was like "are you serious, we just had sex..."
oh, it's pms. I almost cried yesterday bc my roommates didn't seem perky enough when I got home.
you cant keep talent like that locked up in a relationship
Can you explain to me later why there's a pirate hat in my bathtub
A kind stripper put a blanket over me last night
I will start puting down the plastic for the vom in our love chamber. If you want to be something or someone else for the night feel free. The theme is shit show.
I'm there.
The spark has left our relationship. i used to make slightly inflammatory jokes at you. you would retaliate in jest. look at this. look at what is happening here.
Also we had sex while listening to fleetwood Mac on vinyl. Like the 70s called and told me to fuck off
In Texas. Drank way too much wine. Puked in a gallon zip lock bag. Passed out at 445 with the ENTIRE family here. Got up at 745 in time for dinner. I made you proud!!!
I hate that I still want him to look at me as the vagina that got away.
Yeah it got awkward when the two guys we were playing beer pong against realized that I'd hooked up with both of them. Their teamwork declined after that.
Randomize
