U dropped me off n it hit me, i made it inside for exactly shit thirty on the nose, another minute n i would of had brown trowsers
She wouldn't go home with me cause I forgot her name. I didn't realize it would matter after she danced with her vagina on my face
drunk sex in a shower = bad idea broken arm
giving him head while hes talking to his fiancee on the phone about inviting me to their wedding.... im invited. should i go or would that be wrong?
OH GOD PAJAMAS ARE SUCH A HARD CONCEPT RIGHT NOW
I just put my hair into this ponytail & it looks hideous & really cool at the same time. I am dedicating it to the hangover I have
She did my hair, then ate me out. Switching teams was an awesome decision.
We can't be fuck buddies. You stare into my eyes while we fuck.
This costume is too restrictive. The priest and I cannot get it on while I am wearing it.
I didnt finish. My brain kept playing the duck tales theme thru the entire blow job
He literally cried into his tacos and screamed fuck bitches. Don't know if it was the best, or the worst hook up, ever.
dave might be using McDoubles to pay for dances
he has gotten at least 7 lap dances out back
Sustenance and doggy style.. the only two things I need
I mean, what's the polite way to say, "sorry but I can't date you cuz I'm sleeping with your boss" ??
I just want to see you and express my feelings in a drunken manner, but in a sweet way like my english accent.
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