if you come down to my room ill tell you a secret
return my video game
Jizz is so healthy, they should sell it at Jamba Juice. Call it "Jamba's Juice". Genius.
Already tried, she's too smart for that. I need a Primos "Do your wife in the butt" lure/call to trick her into wanting it
whats the proper etiquette for returning a closet door to a random girl you met and do not know her name?
Please tell me you are a size medium in men's clown onesies and that you forgot them here last night.....
I may have just serenaded the sadface couple sitting on a bench outside the dorm by singing Bye Bye Bye.
Well Its not like I planned having my potato launcher explode and burn off my eyebrow and eye lashes.. I still have my right eyebrow can't u just be happy?
Know what's awesome? Flying a mini helicopter while you shit.
She gives the worst handjobs, it was like raw meat on a cheese grater
It's official. This guy and I are going gay for each other. We're tasting the fucking rainbow.
On a Thurs night I found myself drunk in a limo w 9 dudes on my way to a strip club. Once there I was handed $100 in ones and told "spend it." I need a husband. Or Jesus.
Just met my French neighbor. We watched a crow die together, so we're pretty tight.
New war strategy! The ex-girlfriend of my ex-girlfriend is now my twice a week booty call!
Regardless I WANT TO BE YOUR SEX DISPENSARY. that is like the career I was born for.
Randomize
