He then proceeded to try to whisper up my nose...
whenever I think of his sister, I just picture a chick with a huge beard
Say it nicely.
Fine. I want to lovingly bend you over and lovingly fuck the shit out of you. Happy?
Let's just say that watching the sunrise in a space helmet is really the only way to do it.
His pick up line was "your one sexy pumpkin, I'd love to carve." Why would you let me go home with him?
My goal for the night is to see your housemate's one lonely teste.
You know you come from good stock when you can have a family discussion about excuses to scam pain pills from the doctors
We're going to party like we don't have spanx on
To drink from my fkask next to a cop car or to not drink from my flask next to a cop car
ill dress up as a sperm donor and you can go as the cup....
I guess the lesson here is that I shouldn't send nudes to elected officials.
Riddle me this: I can stream porn just fine but try and watch my college class and nooo it won't work
Be there in 4 minutes
Dude, my vagina feels like new again! I love antibiotics. How's your day?
How ya feelin' champ?
Like a million bucks that was soaked in alcohol.
So there i was right, midnight, washing my junk off in my bathroom sink.
Randomize
