this ugly chick literally cried last night because i wouldnt let her give me head
She celebrated a negative pregnancy test by going out to Quizno's. I really don't understand her at all.
Just stepped in shit. Not sure if its mine or the dog's. Get some of our friends on the way back from work and just have the intervention now. I will totally understand.
when a girl feels in her heart, the way she feels in her vagina, anything is possible.
What a great world we live in when USPS can tell you that your drugs have been delivered.
Complete silence. Background Willy Wonka music. An empty back of Lay's BBQ chips. These are the ingredients for an extreme acid trip.
Safe to say I relapsed into my old chatroulette drunk flashing days.
I made her orgasm until she cried. Four years of only having sex with dudes and I've still got it.
I can smell the sangria seeping out of my pores
I guess your brother-in-law will have his day in the sun tonight after you leave. By that, I of course, mean he's gonna suck liquor milk out your sister's tits.
I seriously doubt this is the first time pumpkin pie has led to a booty call.
Don't masturbate while listening to Pandora. Just came during a buffalo wild wings commercial and I feel really weird about it.
How fast can you get here?\nI need to ride your cock into the sunset.
listen I need taco bell and an orgasm within the next hour. I'll leave the order in which you provide those things up to you
I was sitting here smiling wondering why i'm so fucking happy at work. cookie has kicked in
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