I'm watching harry potter...good thing I already know I'm gay
i'm going to be one of those im-wearing-a-shirt-as-a-dress girls today. dont make fun of me, i need laid
Blow job in a bar bathroom for my Thing 1 while in a onezie dressed up as Thing 2. Best Halloween ever.
I bet the Cat in the Hat never caused mischief like that.
Drinking bud light and eating rice cakes...this is the closest to getting in shape for spring break as its going to get.
He told me he wouldn't do any drunk sluts but me. I guess that's sort of a compliment...?
woke up to the trail of sugar cubes leading to my bed........was i that uncooperative last night
Just found a quarter that has been stuck to my boob since at least last night.
i'm about to rub a glazed donut on my face just so it feels like you're here
Yea you just drank all the Hookah water, then started talking gibberish about the Kool Aid you just drank.
you want a dog just so you can strap a barrel of hot chocolate around its neck?
I'm throwing in the towel on today. The puke gods have won this war
There's a kid in the back of the class drinking out of a flask. Like what is going on?
NOW HE'S DRINKING OUT OF A HANDLE. WHO IS THIS KID?
Not sure what happened last night, but I woke up without a shirt on and cereal glued to my boobs...
We found you walking up the on ramp to the highway carrying a 40 mph speed limit sign with no shoes on. Rough night?
What do you mean not that crazy? I had sex last night. with my\nBOSS. in the restaurant where we WORK.... ON A DINNER TABLE.
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