my vag is singing 'hurts so good' by john mellencamp
I have show me your genitals stuck in my head. Except in spanish. Muestrame tus genitals. Tus genitals.
And we will make penis cookies and eat them suggestively
I just need someone to hold me and tell me i dont turn boys gay
:( I miss blowjobs.
This is probably the strangest conversational segue we've ever had.
Either she got face surgery at midnight, or i need to stop drinking...
Did you know even strippers have to have GED's these days??
I hate nights where "I found my underwear" can be considered a victory.
After we fucked, her eye wouldn't stopped twitching and she could only move her hand, which she used to put her number in my phone
MY DOG FOUND A BAG OF COKE ON THE SIDE OF THE ROAD!!!!!!!!!!!
AND ITS GOOD STUFF TOO!!!!!! AHHH!!!!!!
It'll be just me and my penis against the world.
Apparently william has a "couch montage"...an album of facebook photos of himself on different couches in various states of happiness and despair. A heartwrenching journey through what was clearly a significant part of his life. I'd mock him more but I think the fact that I looked through it means he's already won
The best part about passing out on the floor was the fact that when I pissed myself, I didn't piss the bed again.
You're lucky I'm holding your vagina in my best interests
Even in drag you're still better looking than your sister.
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