Is it wrong to beat off to a girl to determine if you like her or not?
I wish you could order shots online.
both the worst and best vomit ever... it was extra chunky and thick cause of the sausage... but it also tasted like delicious sausage... also cause of the sausage
I feel like I had eight dicks in my mouth
I could write a book on how to barely get by in community college. I just took an online quiz on my phone, at the bar, 6 minutes before it was due.
His "hunger Strike for change" lasted 4 days. Hi welcome to my coke binge last weekend....not impressed
i'm having the hardest time convincing my roommates to go dumpster diving for pizza with me. i really miss you..
Why can't public transit accommodate my lifestyle of drinking til midnight on a Monday?
Can't decide which I like more. Telling a girl she's pregnant or telling her she has herpes. It's the little things that make medicine tolerable.
So... Sorry I threw that watermelon at you the other day. I didn't think it would break any bones.
Life for us students isn't all fun and drunken lesbian affairs you know
Her text was so long it had an arrow to expand it. You know it's bad when even your iPhone can't handle her
We were cuddling in his bed and I asked him a question and followed by making a microphone with my hand and told him to speak into it. If he never talks to me again that's probably why.
Betting for two different teams with two different guys is the best. Time to get $100 by one guy and laid by the other!
Turns out I made out with a woman dressed as a unicorn here 10 years ago
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