Well all I remember is going to sleep being big spoon to you and waking up being little spoon to *****
hey no worries the mystery has been solved- i jst sneezed and my undies popped outta my nose.
I look better un-naked...
i have this theory that all the people in the world who dont like mayonnaise had very bad encounter with jizz once
How do you get mayonnaise out of... well jesus it's everywhere, let's start with carpets
apologized to him about 10 times for being drunk. told him about 15 times that he was "really pretty"
Using that mug my little cousin painted for me as an ashtray for my weed...at least next time he asks me if I'm using it I can say yes
I'd say you were a shitshow. Playing floating beer pong in the pool you kept filling other people's cups with pool water and laughing to yourself.
I truly just stopped puking in my 730 am calculus class, looked up, corrected my professor, then resumed puking my eyes out. He was both impressed and disgusted.
Ya. My thumbs are those buffalo's, but my legs are spirits and my torso is that Indian guys and my head is the eagle
The walk of shame is a lot easier when I'm at a music festival and it's 12 feet from his tent to my tent
You are living the dream.
Almost caused a huge accident on the highway because I was distracted by how orange the road barrels were
I remember you fighting a small man for the last of the pizza. Was there a midget in my house last night?
His eyefucking isn't even normal eyefucking; it's eye anal.
I mean, I'm shallow, narcissistic, and selfish, but I'm an amazing friend sometimes
Randomize
