normal stoners make pot brownies. gay stoners make pot chocolate covered cherries on a cinnamon graham cracker crust which by the way are very effective.
I made out with a deaf person. Also I've been drunk 11 days in a row now.
I wish I could just thrust my cock straight into her new relationship.
Dude he's the best wing man ever. He starts creepin' on a woman, and she clings on to you out of fear.
Dude, fuck the siberian warm up. You can't put vodka in hot chocolate. Learn from my mistakes
The doctor that gave me my std test is trying to hook me up with her daughter lol
I hope you have a dream of a sloth with my face touching you erotically
Life Goals: never under any circumstances, pee in an elevator again. No matter how drunk
I hate that we are older than the real world people now
You said you liked how I put the cream cheese on.
Woke up with 5 texts apologizing from a number I named "guy who elbowed me in face"
I'd rather explain to the cops why I'm naked than why I'm drunk.
The couple in the apartment next to mine are both opera singers. I’m never sure if I’m hearing them banging or doing vocal warm-ups.
We had a pink drink in honor of my underwear and apparently I made out with our bartender... a few times
dude im trying to eat his ass so can you stop for 10 minutes
Randomize
