if you force a hooker to have sex with you and dont pay her would it be rape or theft? something to ponder
you just stared at your feet and said some shit about the molecules dancing and how you had just solved physics.
I told him I would sleep with him if he could name all the colors of the wind.
i got a mint flavored condom from wellness day...im kind of tempted to taste it
Tried to bribe the bartender with wedding cake. Felt bad for not giving her a tip.
We should invent fake asshair for you to wear so you can experience my pain for a day.
Speaking is such a hard concept right now
I think it's safe to say taking shots on the way to the emergency room was rock bottom. We're going to need to think of ways to top that between now and next new years eve...
Imagine if you could have something so delicious, like your taste buds went on LSD while eating a chocolate tiramisu. That's the opposite of what cum tastes like.
Look man, sometimes you just gotta say "Sure! Why not? I can always take a shower afterwards"
Im rolling face in a pizzeria. I want to be with people who love me.
She ran from her surprise party screaming "I'm not ready for an intervention." Yeah, the girl has a problem.
You told me you were with a dog dressed as a taco, and it was the only one you trusted
That seems dangerous to buy acid from a stranger on craigslist
We had sex in Lake Michigan for an hour Sunday.
Thanks for ruining an entire lake for me. I hate you so much right now.
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