Ahhh... Adderall running out my nose in the shower really brings back memories.
So... My dad just saw the Plan B package and the beer cans in my backseat.
Oh its cool I'm sure he already knows you're a whore and an alcoholic.
i threw up on the blunt... he was pissed.
Drinking wine out of an empty soup can and watching spongebob squarepants.. I eveb hate myself
Is there a word for someone who only has sex with NFL prospects?
NEVER LET ME DO THIS AGAIN I FEEL LIKE I'M GONNA SHIT MYSELF TO DEATH ARGHHHHHGHHG IS THIS WHAT DYSENTERY FEELS LIKE
Im in mikes bed telling my vagina I'm sorry in advance.
Don't worry, the house smells like waffles more than sex
I really shouldn't be this use to hearing "YOURE THAT GIRL?!?!"
I slapped him but he didn't wake up. He just nuzzled my head, hugged me closer, and smiled.
You woke up butt naked, peed yourself said something about jumbo shrimp, and passed back out 10 seconds ltr..
Check snapchat. Selfie game still on point mid vomit.
Ok sry I left that ambiguous......did you want contact solution or fellatio?
Rain drop, shock top, drinking can't stop stop
i solemnly vow to never stick my penis into crazy again
I give it a week.
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