I didn't know that people actually queef. Is this a real thing?
I believe so, yes.
Would you be offended if I asked if it has happened to you?
no its okay don't call 911, she's alive. just stopped by her house and banged on her door. she said she turned her phone off because she "had to be alone with her shame and embarassment". typical.
i purposely bought her a small sweater. My way of saying, you've gotten fat.
It's really too bad Cosmo doesn't have "What To Do When You've Drunkenly Sucked His Dick and He Doesn't Text You Back" article.
We removed her tutu and her cape, so there's no risk of her strangling herself.
Walking down the street trying to find the pants I had on last night
Maybe the downfall to liking really smart guys is that they're to smart to think about sex all the time.
Meanwhile I'm working a fucking flute workshop and I'm one high c away from shoving a flute up the asshole of the next passerby
I am not getting you a goat.
Fair enough. I am not going out with you. The goat was not negotiable.
You were throwing cups at people in the basement, yelling at them to get out of your swamp.
stop falling asleep in the bathtub. you are not a movie star, you cannot die that way.
How don't you remember..? You were getting handfuls of skittles out from our bra screaming TASTE THE RAINBOW.
I'm pretty sure I have PMS because I almost just cried about not being able to find a place that gives acrobat classes here.
What happened last night?
Lets just say you asked me a couple times if you had eyeballs..
I just saw puke on the road at the same stoplight i threw up at sunday morning! Makes me smile inside.
Randomize
