we went to that german restaurant and drank out of the boots. Then I threw up into one
Oww! U thought rug burn was bad! Fuckin carseat burn hurts like a mother!!!
Wtf?
Use the slutty part of ur brain.
wtf someone played my fucking brickbreaker games and lost i had ten fucking lives. ughhh
maybe you did when you were drunk
no way, i wasn't THAT drunk.
Is it bad that Pitbull has taught me more Spanish than high school did?
I put my bosses number in my phone as "Do not call," I shouldve known my drunk curiosity would overcome any desire I had to keep my job.
again?
aparently i pased my english final. I don't even remember taking it.
we found you in the closet, clutching coats that werent yours for stability
I'm kind of concerned that there are now two different videos of me with knives
My clit ring got caught in his beard. Never. Again.
Oh my god, I am the best RA ever. I'm teaching my freshman girls how to deep throat on bananas as a group bonding activity. I'm making the religious ones eat them for potassium.
IM DRINK YORE HIFH WE ARE POSTERCHOLD OF AMERICA
Ps you missed quite a show. I was for some reason whipping my hair back and forth and head butted the tip jar. It shattered and now I have a circular bruise on my forehead. All the bartenders hit the floor to get all the quarters.
I have an interview tomorrow! The couple we regularly swing with said I could use them as references. Winning
Everclear isn't food dammit
We are balling out on levels, I think mikes about to go to jail. something to do with a unicorn and rainbows, the cops are not being reasonable.
Randomize
