Yeah unless I can find some idiot to make love to
It saddens me that girls will never know the wonder feeling of pulling your sweaty nutsack off of your leg.
the cashier at riteaid just made the sign of the cross before he rang up my pregnancy test. now i know god is on my side
Stop being a whore!!! Everyone can see!!!!
just jacked off with my ROTC uniform on. boy i feel like an american.
watching law and order svu marathons. all of the sex crimes cases start like my sat night.
I'm trapped in whichever ring of hell is populated by inbred yokels and type 2 diabetes.
i don't care what you say, the winery is open and 10am is NOT too early to go barrel tasting
Dude. He only had one testicle. It was like his whole package was a Muppet Show character coming at me.
Meet me at the corner of "what the fuck" and"how'd you get in my bed" in 10 minutes.
He just tried to eat my hair and he keeps talking about pissing on everything, come home soon I beg of you
I'm mentally preparing myself to hang out with him by staring into the mirror saying "thou shalt not get naked" over and over.
hahaha every time i hear a motorcycle i think about that one time you almost died
Thanks for the flashbacks you prick.
I literally farted midsex as a siren for him to get the fuck off me.. No such luck.
In my defense I didn't know there was concrete on the other side of that fence when I tossed him over it.
You're both fucking idiots and this is why I should never let you two drink alone.
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