He started to lick my mole,thinking it was my nipple.
I don't understand why we need a holiday to become more aware of boobs...
I don't remember what your face looks like..
I don't remember your face either, just your dick.
Thru out the entire phone conversation I went from thinking: he's making a gay come-on, to he's trying to sell me drugs, before realizing he was offering me a job with an internet company. Things are gonna be awkward in class this week.
and now her best friend is massaging my table under the leg. this may not end well.
I think we can all look back on last night and categorize it under, " reason why Cory can't be left at the bar by himself"
im calling her cock vulture from now on
He kept falling asleep with the pizza in his hand. I woke him up and told him and he was shocked because he thought he ate it all. Then he would end up falling asleep and we'd repeat the whole process again.
You slammed your forties down on the table and yelled "I AM EDWARD FORTYHANDS" then mumbled something about repping Idaho like a champ and laid down on the couch.
He rolled up to the party in an ice cream truck. He was definitely my first priority
He gave me the choice between a threeway with his best friend or a tiny turtle. Unfortunately I chose the threeway.
Dude, you need better judgement.Trust me I know. I put my dick in the wrong mouths all the time
I repeat do not go to a jail visit drunk, those stools are easy to fall off.
Well I got black out drunk before the rehearsal dinner and berated my family with insults. But other then that it was a good time
I don't even know if he's actually hot or just hot because he plays hockey..
You did not just say that.
Randomize
