i hooked up with a boy reading dear john, i have to get points for that somewhere
no he gets major points for having a girl hookup with him after reading dear john
his penis was the training wheels of my sex life
this girl is having heart failure because she lost her feather...a gypsy blessed it in turkey. Not sure im high enough for this
No big deal, we were just two friends having sex. It's perfectly normal we don't remember. Water under the sex bridge,
I can't wait to go to grad school so I am not your high unemployed friend.
The black hole just entered the party man, I can literally see guys starting to move towards her.
I hate him. I fucked every one of his friends AND his fat brother and he still won't break up with me.
I can't tell if I'm getting better at doing my online spanish hw drunk or if my teacher is just grading on creativity. Either way that senoritas gettin an applebees gift card when i graduate.
I woke up on top of his counter next to a pot of boiling water and an empty package of ramen... what happened to the ramen, we will never know.
She doesn't even know his real name...he just keeps calling himself Hans the Third
Tuesday Boozeday turned into What-the-fuck-were-you-thinking Wednesday real fast.
i chased my gummy vitamins with cold bacon, never say I don't take care of myself
I just found those cheese sticks in my purse. Along with a handful of confetti.
I forgot wine drunk hurts
Other than the whole stab wound in my leg thing, today was pretty good. The nurses all loved me and gave me a sandwich and juice.
Randomize
