Best feeling in the world? holding your pee all day for a negative preggo test
I learned his name tonight. This now makes him a real person. Obviously, I no longer want to sleep with him.
I had a dream last night that I had sex with Abe Lincoln. I must stop watching the History Channel before I go to bed.
I just used my thong as a hair tie. I think I reached my limit.
I swiped a lunchable and a gatorade from my one night stand's fridge, does it count as a date now since a meal was included?
i love you. like a brother. a brother that i had sex with more than once.
No, the weekend was great. It was the waking up in the pond in the raft without an oar that sucked. That fucking water is cold at 7am.
My nipple piercings are like the guardrails, that's why they feel so safe.
How was the party? Lets put it this way: "He wants her dick" was a factual sentence stated last night.
Found my id. It was in the cats litter box. Seriously what was last night.
you must be at least a level 5 friend to unlock my sexual orientation
I put his pb&j sandwich in my bra and never looked back
If someone tells me they're a paramedic, how inappropriate is it for me to ask what their save to kill ratio is?
No, I didn't meet up with him! That's when I had chlamydia.
A drunk and bleeding peter is knocking on your door... in nothing more than a sombrero, boxers and cowboy boots.
Randomize
