i just had sex. the condom broke. we're sleeping in to separate beds. And im in albany
conclusion of the day: americans need to get on tredmills, people need to learn how to flush toliets and learn how to pee in then instead of on them, and waiters shouldnt tell their life stories to customers.
pretty sure I just motor boated my professor at the drag show
had to check his id this morning to remember his name.... i was wayy off
I'm going to show my kids 2 girls 1 cup just to scare them away from porn
Just role played anchorman. And yes, I did take her to pleasure town.
I don't care what you say, cheap wine does NOT taste better in expensive crystal...
Bring beers. The password is "I brought beers" but you can't come in if you're a liar
We went to Olive Garden so high we didn't talk and managed to be awkward enough for the waiter to ask if it was our first date
ROB LOWE. SO BEAUTIFUL. SO DOUCHEY. SO HARD TO SPELL HIS NAME WHEN DRUNK.
A boy just offered to come over and help me clean my house. I hope you are more successful than he will be tonight.
I'll just bring the big suitcase this trip so I don't have to play wine bottle tetris again.
And he kept lifting up his shirt every few minutes to check if his nipples were still there
ok morning sex is a totally valid reason to come in late... ur good, cya in 20
Dude, the T Swift concert might not be so bad after all. Can you say milfs living vicariously through their teenage daughters? Score.
Randomize