apparently i started the naked brigade. and depantsed everyone who wasn't naked. her parents must hate me.
Just a heads up. Everytime I get arrested in Maine I claim I lost my ID and use your name.
While you were puking in the ocean I was rubbing your back saying "Just give it back to Mother Earth".
side note. good thing you didn't come to drunk breakfast. we were judged by children.
She just tagged pictures of you wrapped in the "above the influence banner" like a toga.
I forgot not everyone drinks wine out of the bottle. My grandma just asked if i needed a glass with a disappointing look.
You blackout rapped the entire DMX song Party Up last night at karaoke without looking at the screen. Then you Tebowed on stage, hugged a black guy, puked in a garbage can, then left. You deserve a medal.
I'm smoking a bowl and pondering why we haven't discovered teleportation again.
He equated my biology degree to a belief in Santa. I wonder if he heard the doors to my vagina clanging shut.
I think that means you're growing up...when your coke nail becomes your opening mail nail.
I inhaled my own vomit, how was your night?
You threw up in your own shoe then wore it home
After an hour of searching for my pants, we had three people looking. They were finally found in the oven.
Why do I have "apologize to Dave Coulier" written on my hand?
sober me thinks like you do. drunk me needs sober me's advice. am i allowed to go to his house?
Randomize
