I'll write directions out on a napkin and slip it to him. Then say P.S. The UTI is gone.... that's not creepy at all right?
Because ur a stupid bitch
Actually, I'm graduating from college on Saturday so that makes me a well educated bitch.
i'm drunk and confused. there might be a 4 year old here.
In the middle of pouring my wine you asked me if I could hear your vibrator from my room.
I'm a big fan of your penis but I will not sit through an animated movie dedicated to it.
Theres a picture of me with cut up clothes rolling in the policeman's lawn, I missed you, summer.
he knocked a glass of water onto my bed and then said that he should get to sleep on the dry side because he was "a guest"
I DON'T WANT TO DEMONSTRATE MY DICK TAKING ABILITIES WITH MY MOM THERE.
We woke up at 7:30am. We got a 30 rack, yelled at all the freshman shackers walkin back to their dorms, played a game of beer die, and boned all before 11:00am. I found my soulmate
woke up in your bed at 6 AM. on my way home I passed Nathan, bloody, barefoot, and still in a toga. He told me he woke up in a ditch then kept repeating "I'm totally bringing this up at meeting tomorrow". I'm proud of your frat today
I haven't filled him in on Operation "find a sugar daddy & suck dick for money" yet, but I'm sure he just wants me to be happy.
At a bar across from the city police station. I PROMISE I will do something great.
Okay Im still jerking off but now with the Reality of Law School Looming In The Distance
If I don't singlehandedly make your gf realize she needs to straighten the fuck up or ruin your relationship before I leave I have failed you as a friend.
He told me to grab his penis so I did and swung it around and said “awe, it looks like the wacky inflatable tube man.
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