I lost my shoes and bra and was beyond mapquesting
Yeah, it wasn't as bad as I thought. I tried not to clench and things went pretty smoothly.
I had 4 margarita's and 2 mixed drinks and i blew zero's. Its a cinco de mayo miracle.
You have proved your worthiness to join me on the quest of taking shots at every academic building on campus by showing up drunk to our test at 12:30 today
I got called a drunken housewife today in class. I'm proud, not many people can say they've achieved their life goals like I have by the time they turn 20
The same guy who pierced my nipples just told me he can help tutor me in precalc.
I started scrolling back in our texts looking for context and a picture of your dick rose like the Great Pumpkin in the middle of my screen.
It may not have seemed like it to you, but I was very sad that I was cheating on my GF with you. I was crying on the INSIDE.
You showed up at my front door in a bikini with a fifth of tequila it was like the opening to a porno
I was full on naked standing in his room and I just said "this isn't me" and left.
As your friend, I promise I will drink a full bottle of vodka and belly slide down the stairs with you if that test is positive
I was told I look like trouble once and that was by a fireman at the sex show. I was carrying two beers and a penis pinata.
I just found your "it's drinking time" note in my chem notes. Why did this never happen??
I was waiting for you to find it...I'll be over in 5
Watching a guy pay his tab with a check. Jesus dude...
I just discovered my new vice. Cotton candy vodka. Its like a carnival in my mouth, puking of the tilt-a-whirl included.
Randomize