Don't forget I'm 20 now
I liked you more when you were 19
I've been reduced to Capt. Morgan and Golden Girls reruns. Ugh.
high people should be assigned attendants
Now that the olympics are over we have no excuse for getting belligerently drunk for nationalism every night.
I woke up from my nap, looked out my window, and saw about bout 6 people get tasered in less than 20 seconds.....could someone please tell me what's going on.
So last week was the 4th time a girl cried after sex. I'm seriously doing something wrong
if you lined all their dicks up next to eachother, it would be like at&t bars
EW EW EW EW THAT PENIS BELONGS TO SOMEONE'S FATHER! THAT PENIS BELONGS TO OUR FRIEND'S FATHER! THAT PENIS HELPED CREATE OUR FRIEND! YOU'RE NOT ALLOWED TO ADMIRE IT!
When I don't want to forget things I put them on my cigs.
C smoking isn't all bad
Just realized Ive had sex in or around each thing listed in Green Eggs and Ham besides the fox.
I paused the movie when the delivery guys arrived, and while they were assembling the bed, one of the guys pointed to the tv and said "why so serious?" And it made the whole experience happy.
I went shopping for a dress that was baptism and bar appropriate.
I do remember that in my dream I wasn't impressed with his dick.
This can only be settled by a dance off.
He was literally screaming at me for using the same knife to scoop the peanut butter and the jelly.
Randomize
