I just wish we had the ability to download food from our TVs.
I just tried to pick my 105-lb puppy up and accidentally fingered its asshole
There are some things we keep to ourselves Brian
So A**** bought my story about how my hickey was a bruise from wrestling
on one hand i'm glad that i'm not in trouble...on the other hand i realized that the reason i cheat on her is because she is so stupid
Just had a conversation with Jon gosselin
Until you fuck him in front of his kids stop wasting my time with stupid texts.
all of your clothes are in the front law. btw..sprinklers go on in 20 minutes
all i remember is stealing his cheesepuffs and shaving my vagina in the hotel lobby
I just hope when I turn 21, it doesn't tank my entire semester.
She's on her way over to shave my year round sweater vest into a festive argyle sweater vest. Keeper?
It's Been clinically proven that people who have sex 6 or more times per week are happier than those who don't. Just and FYI. For your mental health. From a soon so be psychologist. Who is drunk.
We fucked on a kid's slide, my vagina is singing praises of being used
Oh I'm definitely going to hit on her, there's no question about that. What I meant by playing it cool is I'm not going to mount her on sight.
Are you planning on wandering into construction sites drunk and falling down 6' holes?
probably
Your favorite boobs are sending you seasons greetings
You know i love you, but i just cannot fuck you until your eyebrow grows back. It's too hard not to laugh.
Its like a glacier coming out of my asshole.
Randomize
