We should takd a huggy cab to snuggle bunnyville
I always wonder when I meet a guy from online if he needs a moment to mentally register and accept the size of my ass. maybe ill wear a dress.
cab driver says "I saw your friend who opens her legs. she went home with two guys." pretty sure he was talking about you
then you asked me to turn your jeans into "jorts" just long enough to cover your ballsack
Every time I type "should" my phone autocorrects to "shouldn't". even my phone knows my ideas are terrible.
Covered in glitter and dick. 2010 feels a lot like 2009.
How do you think the people in my class would react if I ripped all my clothes off and jumped on him right now?
No more co-pays for contraceptives. Whoever says Obama is a bad guy has clearly never had a pregnancy scare.
How was the party? Lets put it this way: "He wants her dick" was a factual sentence stated last night.
I'm gonna write a book one day about how to be the less attractive person girls settle for after getting dumped. I will send you a copy
I took a cab from the club to the grocery store. I needed peanut butter.
My walk of shame was four miles long and I had to stop for a water break. I am the picture of class.
This week I fucked a police officer and called both the Senators from the state I'm in and the one I'm moving to. What have you done since the election?
I went to steal condoms from your room and all I could find was chik fil a sauce
I'm like a camel in the desert in a black hole I'm so thirsty.
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