She said she didn't have time to shave "there"
Then she shouldn't have had time to order the lobster.
just balanced a champagne glass on my gut. thanks to beer im a living breathing tempur-pedic mattress.
heres the thing, we have 120 cans of beer left in the fridge. until thats finished we cant fit food in the fridge
oh no, don't get me wrong.. she IS really pretty. If you are in to horses or Sarah Jessica Parker.
I would let Bear Grills repel down a waterfall using my dick if I could go to sleep right now.
Ummm didn't i have pubes when i went to bed last night?
it's like getting dryhumped by a chainsaw in the very best possible way
Sweet. Well pat yourself on the back this penis just burst back into the the game and the vaginas of millions
Super stoned right now. And I stared at my exit, thought to myself "hey self. That is your exit" and I kept driving right past it.
My walk of shame was 2 miles of feathers flying off of me, underwear in hand, and a homeless man telling me he'd pray for me. It was gold medal worthy.
This drive is very scenic
And I'm chugging whiskey in the back
As you should, soak in all this country has to offer
You're the reason I lose Never Have I Ever
You made me drive your car so you could give the dude from the parking lot a BJ in the back seat. Classy.
That's fine. It's not illegal to bring ham into a museum.
A cop may or may not have seen my bare ass against the moonlight within the past hour
Randomize
