He asked me to sit on his face, but i didnt, for 2 reasons, one, i had just pooped like 20 mins before sex, and two, this could be my future husband. so i skipped on sitting.
she called my cock the "semen sword" and then we invented a position called excalibur
fyi, we didn't break up, we just downgraded to occasional sex without ever talking about it.
So...i'm having a drinking contest, my right hand vs my left, i have a feeling the 24 pack is gonna win
I kept pulling the $1 bills off the stage and told everyone "no no no she has to work for this money"
All I remember is you introducing yourself to the entire basketball team using the line "I'll show you a slam dunk."
I have not carelessly put myself in herpes way since I got a clean bill of health tyvm.
The entire time I'm blowing him she's in the back seat lecturing me on the reasons why you're not suppose to do that while they're driving...
i hope you're proud of yourself! i just had to ask my boss to put ointment on the rugburn on my back. clothes hurt!
Living a little to me does not involve choreographed Michael Jackson songs
I'm like going proud parent over you doing drugs, this is so wrong.
You know your life has gone downhill when someone has to preface your night with "don't get locked in a porta potty"
I bet I give better head than any other PTA mom.
Currently watching high school football on ESPN. Drink every time they say 'this kid's got potential' or 'look at this kid go' or 'atta kid' We're done for..
Sorry you uh had to see that last night. That's the problem with open fields, no privacy...
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