what if I'm pregnant?
smusmorshion
Well, I guess this was as good a night as any to find out I don't know how to use my fire extinguisher.
It's like being the dunk pilot of a plane full of pornstars and drunkenness.
all time personal low: room service guy going "You want french fries AND onion rings???"
Also, any YOLOwl-related sex photos will result in you winning ten orgasms, courtesy of myself, as well as sweets and bacon-based dinner. All entrants welcome
Note to self... Do not stick your head in a can of paint and try to paint the walls green with your hair
I'm having a hard time existing right now. When I figure out how it works ill be over.
She ran from her surprise party screaming "I'm not ready for an intervention." Yeah, the girl has a problem.
She definitely peed in a bucket in their closet last night. We should warn them about that, right?
The perfect man would keep a whisky sour in my hand and give me endless sex. I really don't think that's too much to ask for.
You just accidentally called me. You kept saying "Really?! Really?!!" So I can only assume you are having sub par sex
I'm glad you found someone that both loves you and is cool doing coke off your tits. Proud of you.
wait you fucked a guy who wears k-swiss? seriously?
I know, im living my 7th grade dream
before i could order beers she was on stage 69ing with a stripper
The guy I slept with in AZ just called and is moving here next week.
Randomize
