i'm gonna start putting 34DD under other qualifications on my bartender applications and see if that helps
Worst bachelorette party. She got smashed and cried because she thinks she might have herpes from when she cheated on him. Not looking good for them.
the realtor just took us to a house I had a one night stand in. I feel like it's a sign.
Hey Im running from the cops. hiding in a bush. when you're approaching the intersection honk the horn twice and I will come out.
Definitely just puked in this corn maze. Families are staring.
Alls I remember is making out with that chick.
Nope that was a dude
I am honored my friend, to hold the decision of what enters your body
Oh god iv'e slept with this police officer before oh god oh god
An hour is enough time for me to get drunk and win a dry hump marathon so I hope you have somewhat similar or better goals
Or maybe I'll just keep introducing myself like, hello, they call me iane because I need the D. Applications are submitted online, women need not apply.
Im wearing a bra. Made of paint.
Ok she stopped using her fork and knife and is legit eating that steak using her hands.
I feel like I have a very capable uterus.
I'm being hhit on by creepy guys please come one bought me a penis hat balloon animal save meeeee
right after that u started calling me g-force and started trying to bellyslide down his drive way
Randomize